Confession #5

She headed down the dark, desolate highway with no destination in mind. How far would she need to travel to escape the memory of the life she was leaving behind? She hoped the next town would quiet the voices of yesterday, but as she went along she learned that even 30 miles could not remove 30 years of memories. So, she continued, always quieting the voice of reason that called her back home. You have a house. You have a job. You have responsibilities. For now, she needed to drive. The cool night air was crisp as it flowed in her window. The sweater she wore did not warm her, and she liked it. She did not even dare turn on the radio. She need to silence the voices.

Now one state away, she felt she would never reach her location. She no longer wished for peace, or contentment. She dared not dream of hope - every hope she ever had burst into reality and left her confused, angry, and alone. Regret filled the sky, and she knew somehow, somewhere there would be a place for her. The hours passed as she mulled over anything and everything that passed through her mind. The wrong decisions she had made. The loss she had experienced. The friends that had gone their own ways.

She slowed to a stop as she saw the road ahead. She had come to the iconic fork in the road and knew she had to choose. To this point, it had been easy for her. She had driven so far without even making a decision, but now there was no avoiding it. She sat there for what could have been days. Each path seemed to offer the same thing, and yet she knew that one would take her where she wanted and the other would not. There was no way to rationalize this. She just had to pick one way and go.

She knew she should go the right way, so she put on her blinker and went left.